Long Drink Access Protocol
(Lightweight Drink Alcohol Protocol)

Zde přinášíme manuálovou stránku pro ty, kteří si bez počítačů neumí představit ani konzumaci alkoholických i nealkoholických nápojů.

LDAP(1)                                                       LDAP(1)
        LDAP - client/server protocol and application for delivering long drinks. KPspecific.

        LDAP [--fast/-f] [--number/-n] [--verbose/-v] [--veryverbose/-vv]
                   [--show-all] [--help/-h] [--silent/-K] [--output/-o file] [--KP/-kp]
                   [--debug/-d] [--music/-m on|off] [--strip] hostname

       See rfc1300 for more info.

        -f, --fast
                fast delivery, fast monkey, source-quech warning

        -n, --number
                number of drinks to be delivered

        -v, --verbose
                verbose mode, speak fluently on stdout

        -vv, --veryverbose
                keyzlar mode

                source-quench unlimited, buffer overrun, stack overflow

        -h, -help
                unimplemented because irrelevant

        -kp, --KP
                default high speed mode

        -m, --music on|off
                turns music on|off. Affects environment variable PUBLIC_RELATIONS.

        -d, --debug
                shouts (sing) on stdout. Useful with -m on, anyway affects
                environment variable PUBLIC_RELATIONS

                with --music on turns on Chlumy Strip Most Attractive Crazy Dance (CSMA/CD)

        -K as well as --silent in default keyzlar mode

        - system call monkey(long depth) invoked when attribute -n is greater
           than DRINK_MAX

        - environment variable PUBLIC_RELATIONS set on MUSIC_TOO_LOUD or
          WHAT_THE_FUCK? values when --music on is called recursively. The
          same (or even worse) is -vv mode.

        - --strip mode causes environment variable FEMALE_STATUS slightly
          increase from ICE_COLD to RELAX_OK. On some occasions leads to WET
          or even WET_'n'_HOT status. In KPenvironment extremely dangerous! 

        - --show-all leaves hostname file system unsynchronized with lots of
          object files and core files. Run make clean later on.

        To start common connection use:
          sync; LDAP havl28; sync

        To apply fast delivery mode:
          sync; export THIRSTY="yep!"; LDAP -f; sync; sync

        To protect the whole transfer:
          export PUBLIC_RELATIONS="/dev/null" \
          LDAP -vv --music on -n DRINKS_MAX --strip\
          make rehash; sync; sync; sync; reboot +12hours

        To free system resources:
          kpunzip; strip; LDAP -o poop | pee\
          make depend; make shake; zip; sync


          maximum of drinks allowed to transer in one session. Flexible.

          see nice (8)

          when set to PRESENT, then use asynchronous mode:
          LDAP [params...]; sleep(random(time()));

          unimportant exported system variable. Set to AT_HOME or
          AT_MOTHER_HOUSE as often as possible.

        kpd, kpunzip, strip, yes, pee, zip, sync